The perfect lie
by The Queen's Saviour
Summary: - story completed - What do you do when everything you believed in turns out to be a lie? And more important, who is there to save you? This is an Alice/Bella story eventually.
1. Prologue

_A/N: Hello everybody. This is the prologue of my new story. The story will be a pretty short one, as it just came up and I started writing and writing until it was finished. And it turned out to be quite short. I hope you guys will like it anyway. Thanks for reading and enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, Stephenie Meyer does. _

**Prologue**

"You WHAT?" I was frantic. All I wanted to do at this moment was cry, yell and die. My whole world had just fallen down on me. That's how it felt. I couldn't look at him right now, he had hurt me, so bad. He had hurt me before though, more than once. But never as bad as this. Even the time he left me to die in the forest wasn't as bad as it was now. This… This was just unacceptable. I couldn't deal with this, I loved him. I had loved him for quite a while now, taken him back after his sister and I saved his ass in Italy. I had even said yes to his wedding-proposal, all because I wanted to be with him forever. And now this? No, this was too much. I couldn't handle this.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he cooed. His golden eyes were piercing into my soul. But I wouldn't look at him, I knew doing so would hurt me even more. His cold, hard hand now rested on my shoulder, I shrugged him off and took a step back. I wanted so bad to slap him right now, but I knew that doing so would just hurt me. He wouldn't feel a thing. I'd been with him for about 3 years right now, we were about to get married, the wedding was just in a few months and now this? He had no idea what he was doing, what he had caused. My heart wasn't broken, no, it was shattered. Shattered in a thousand pieces. And everything he'd been telling me was nothing but a lie. The perfect lie.


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: Oh wow, just the prologue got so many reactions, I never thought that was possible! Here is the first chapter. I think I need to explain a few things before I really start the story, to make things clear. This is during Eclipse, but I've changed some things. They have not yet graduated, but the whole fight thing with Victoria is already done.. I didn't want to get into that, and just before graduation was the best time for this story to occur. Thanks again, enjoy the first chapter!_

**Chapter 1**

"_**Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present."**_

"Wooooooo." The yellow Porsche drove with a speed of 160 mph over the freeway. The windows were all open, it was a warm day, for a change. This was rare in the Forks area, and now that we had one, we were sure to enjoy it. Hunting for adrenaline-rushes is what had occupied me for months, and it paid off. I was no longer afraid to drive at an insane speed. Especially with one of the Cullens behind the wheel. Their senses are enhanced and especially Alice's, she'd see the danger before it was even close. I was perfectly safe. Alice's laughter was heard and filled the car. I closed my eyes, the wind blew through my hair and I enjoyed every second of it. My life was perfect! Everything was good. Edward was back, we were still in love. Alice was back, my best friend had returned. The other Cullens were back, my family had come home. Charlie no longer wanted to send me off to Florida, so I guessed he was alright too. And I, I felt great! In fact, I couldn't remember ever being happier. Despite knowing the direction we were going right now, a shiver ran down my spine, but I wouldn't let it ruin the day. Oh no, I'd enjoy it.

"Bella?" Alice's eyes were watching me and suddenly I felt self-conscious. I knew I was being ridiculous. But that's just me, ridiculous Bella.

"Alice?"

"Are you looking forward to this as much as I am?" Her bell-like laughter sounded again and once again I realized how much I had missed this. Sure, they'd been back for quite a while now. But I could vividly remember the time I spent in their absence.

"Uh, I don't know… Probably not," her face brightened up a little. And this made me giggle.

"Does that mean that.. you are looking forward to it? Just not as much as I am?"

"Yes, that's what it means," I smiled at her. And she returned the gesture, her right hand left the wheel and grabbed mine. Her thumb stroked my hand and the ticklish feeling of it made me smile.

"I can't believe you actually said that. I never thought I'd see the day Bella Swan would be looking forward to a full day of shopping with me, Alice Cullen!" She let go of my hand again and stared out the windshield. I knew that look, vision. After mere seconds she shook her head lightly and focused on the road for real.

"So, are you going to tell me what you just saw?" Curiosity. Even though I knew most of the time her visions weren't of any importance, after the occurrences of the past few months I had gotten used to wanting to know what was going to happen. Edward always said she relied on her power too much, I guess I was doing that too. A mischievous grin appeared on her face and she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Her tone was teasing, and as soon as I realized it was probably some horrific vision of me shopping, I dropped the subject.

"Probably not. So, are you sure you can do this? You know, with the sun out?" Yep, that was my lame attempt to change the subject and make small-talk. And no, that wasn't my thing really.

"Oh don't you think you can get rid of me, the sun isn't going to be that much of a problem actually," she smiled and tapped her temple. "So, how are you and Edward? After… Everything?" And that was her attempt at small-talk. I sighed and couldn't help but notice a slight smile appeared on my face.

"Actually. We're pretty good. Although I kinda miss him, I mean, he's been on some trips lately. And I understand, I do. But… Well… You know, I still miss him." I looked at Alice's face but she was impossible to read. A solid smile was plastered on her face and I doubted that, no matter what I'd say, it would go away. No way, she was taking me shopping. No way in hell would the smile disappear.

"Hmm, I understand, Bella. But I'll try to distract you. No Edward thoughts today! Just… Clothing, clothing and more clothing!"

"And a little food perhaps? I mean, some people actually have to eat!" I poked her side and instantly regretted it. My finger hurt.

"Sorry about that," she said, while pointing at my finger. "And I think, maybe, we can fit a few minutes in the schedule for the human to eat something," she winked at me and hit the gas again.

About half an hour later we were in Seattle. After the killings had stopped my dad had finally given in and let me go to Seattle, with Alice. If only he knew how she would be able to protect me from the big bad murderer. Or at least, a human murderer. I had to give Alice some credit too, though, she knew how to manipulate Charlie. Sometimes I felt sorry for the man, Alice always got her way with him. But on the other hand, it was pretty hilarious.

Alice got us a parking spot and as soon as she opened the door of her car the sun disappeared behind the clouds. So far for a good, warm, sunny day.

"I told you the sun wouldn't be a problem…" I smiled at her and got out of the car as well. She looped her arm through mine and dragged me to the mall. As soon as we entered the mall I took back my words from before. No longer was I looking forward to this, as soon as I caught the mischievous glint in Alice's eyes, a knot formed in my stomach. I'd just have to drag out my lunch time, if Alice would actually allow me to eat. I knew she would though, Edward would kill her if she wouldn't get me to eat.

"Ah come on, Bella! I promise you'll have a good time!" She put on her puppy-face and that worked all the time. Both on Charlie and on me. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "Let's get this over with," that was her cue to grab my arm and drag me into the first store that caught her eyes.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I lay in my bed, I was tired. Spending the whole day with Alice, shopping hadn't done me any good. Sure, my closet was full again, as Alice was bragging about being rich again and intended on buying me 'some' new clothing. But other than that, it hadn't done me any good. Thank God she'd given me some time to eat, in peace, without her being impatient. Besides all the physical damage, I did have a good day. She told me she and Jasper were going away next week, just for the weekend. They were going to spend some time in New York, some quality time, without the family. And here I was, alone, thinking about Edward. I hoped we could do that sometime too, just going away for a weekend. Just the two of us. As I was thinking about that I saw someone move on the other side of my room. As the person took another step forward I saw it was Edward. His eyes were the usual golden and I could see he had just hunted. He smiled his crooked smile and as soon as he did this I kicked my blankets away and ran into his arms. He hugged me tightly and I kissed his lips. After a tender kiss he buried his nose in my hair and breathed in deeply. This surprised me, I knew he liked my scent, but it usually made him a little uncomfortable.

"You look tired," he said. Observant as always, I thought.

"I am. Alice took me shopping, I probably don't have to tell you how it ended," I smiled at him and got back to bed. He followed me and sat beside me.

"I think I can imagine. I know how horrible Alice can be," he kissed my lips again and I smiled into his kiss. His touch still made me feel weak in the knees and brought butterflies to my stomach. After all this time, I was still so very much in love with him. It was so difficult to not be around him and his family. Lately he'd gone out hunting way more often than usual, he wouldn't tell me the reason though. Just said he was very hungry and didn't want to risk anything when it came to me. I didn't understand, but I wouldn't push it. I trusted him, if he was hungry, he was hungry.

We lay down and he wrapped his arms around me, his nose was covered in my hair again and I heard him sniff. He then went to kiss my neck, shoulders and cheeks.

"Goodnight, Bella. Sweet dreams, love," those were the last words I heard. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.


	3. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks for all the nice reviews! :D You guys make my days! I love reviews, so please, feel free to leave plenty of them! This is the 2__nd__ chapter, I hope you guys will like it. Enjoy._

**Chapter 2**

"_**The question in life is not whether you get knocked down. You will. The question is, are you ready to get back up.. and fight for what you believe in."**_

The next Monday Edward had picked me up and gave me a ride to school. Charlie still didn't like him very much and was still pushing me to see Jacob more often. If only he knew the truth about Jake, and the truth about Edward, I really wondered whose side he'd pick. Probably Jacob's, ugh.

"Good morning, chief Swan," Edward was always polite. Charlie nodded at him and turned his attention back to the newspaper he was reading. Edward's face didn't twitch though, he never showed any sign of disappointment. I did, though. Because I didn't understand why Charlie didn't like Edward, what had he done to him? Other than leaving his daughter and making her life miserable. That must have been it, or not, because he didn't like Edward very much before he left either. Maybe that was just a mystery not worth thinking about. He'd just have to deal with it, because I did love Edward. Very much so. I quickly grabbed my bag and dragged Edward along to the car. Quickly muttered a goodbye to my dad, but he didn't respond.

"Whatever," I murmured, I knew Charlie wouldn't hear me, but I knew that Edward would.

"What's wrong, love?" We sat in the car and he held my hand. "Tell me, what's bothering you?"

"Just… Charlie. I don't get why he's being such an ass to you!" I wanted to spill my guts, and I knew I had to just tell Charlie about this. In person, but I seriously doubted he'd listen.

"Bella, I left you, I hurt you," I saw pain cross his eyes as he spoke about this. He never liked talking about this matter, or anyone bringing it up for that matter. "Anyway, he saw what it did to you and he hates me for it. I can't really blame him," Edward defended my father. Maybe he was right, maybe he wasn't.

"Yeah well, whatever. Let's just get to school, I don't want to be late, I've got a test first period." Edward nodded, kissed my cheek and drove off to school. It took him only five minutes to get there and he held my hand all the way to the building. People had stopped watching after the second month after he came back. I guess they were just used to it now, thank goodness. I never was one for all the attention, and getting it in this way, with all the rumors attached, really didn't do me any good. Edward had never cared much, he knew people didn't like him anyways.

First period I had my English test, I was pretty sure I did well and was happy to see Edward again in second period. We now shared our history class and our biology class, I had never been more thrilled. I couldn't stop smiling when he was around and though I was pretty sure I annoyed the teacher as well as the students, I couldn't bring myself to care.

In lunch I sat with the Cullens, to Mike's dismay. He still hadn't gotten over me, even after the ridiculous night at the cinema with him and Jake. Emmett and Alice were in a heated discussion about God-knows-what but they were both quiet when Edward and I joined the table.

"So, Bella. I see you survived torture Saturday?" Emmett winked and Rosalie smacked his head. He rubbed his head while Alice just giggled.

"Obviously I did. It wasn't really that bad…" I muttered. Alice's face brightened at hearing my words and I liked seeing her this happy.

"You're such a horrible liar! How could it not be that bad? Come on, just admit it… it was torture!" Emmett's voice was loud and his laughter was too. He really was the happy kid of the family and I loved him for it. Of course Alice was a happy kid too, but I considered her more of the cute one. I had never, ever seen Emmett sad, or quiet or at loss of words. He was always smiling, joking around and being a fool. He really was a great guy.

"Maybe it was a little torture, but still, I had a good time," I squeezed Alice's hand. I felt bad for her, her family always teased her for being such a shopping-addict, and most of the time I did too. But not today, she smiled at my gesture and I brought back my attention to Edward. His eyes were focused on the table in front of us and I wondered what was wrong. Obviously, Emmett noticed too and couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"Eddieboy, what are you looking at?" He waved his hand in front of his face and Edward smacked his hand. Emmett just laughed.

"Mind your own business, will you?" Edward sneered. I had never seen him act like this and I wondered what was wrong.

"Edward, are you alright?" I made him look at me and as soon as his eyes found mine they softened. He smiled and kissed my cheek.

"I'm just fine." I didn't believe him though, and wanted to know what was going on, but I wouldn't confront him about it right here.

"So, you and Jasper are going away for the weekend, huh?" Rosalie asked Alice. She had decided to participate in the conversation, if there really was one anyway. Alice smiled and nodded, Jasper did too.

"We're going to visit some friends in New York," Jasper said, a strained smile on his face. After all these years he was still struggling with all the blood-filled humans around. I felt bad for him, I always did.

"Who, Peter and Charlotte?" Emmett asked. Everyone now participated in the conversation, everyone but me. I was deep in thought. When I felt a cold hand on mine I jerked my hand away and looked up at two golden eyes. Edward's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I was… thinking," I smiled and grabbed his hand. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. When the bell rang we both took off to biology. The hour went by very quick and me and Edward passed a couple of notes during the lecture. The rest of the day was alright. Just an average day. Graduation was now really close, only two weeks left. The whole senior class was obviously looking forward to it. Including myself. After graduation it would be summer, which meant quite a few more months with Edward. Maybe we could go away for a while. Like Alice and Jasper. Yes, that would be nice.

The week went by quickly and then there was the weekend. Edward and I had made no plans and Charlie had suggested I went to see Jacob. I didn't want to though. It would be better if Jacob and I didn't see each other for a little while. I should just let him be. He had been hurt enough, and so had I. It wasn't necessary for the both of us to hurt each other even more. Enough damage had been done already. Thinking about it brought tears to my eyes, I loved him. I really did. But I couldn't be with him and he didn't understand that. Okay, so maybe I did love him a little more than a best friend should, I loved Edward more. I couldn't imagine my life without Edward, or with Jacob for that matter. Jake was a great guy, he was. But being in a relationship with him was no option for me. He just… was way too immature, unserious and way too much of an ass. Sometimes. Even if Edward wouldn't have come back I probably would never have been able to handle a love-thing with Jacob. That just wasn't in the cards. But yeah, try to make him understand, that's impossible.

I decided to go see Edward. It was Saturday morning and I missed him already. He hadn't been around last night and it was pretty weird that even 12 hours without Edward was too much for me to bear. Maybe Charlie was right, and it wasn't healthy. I couldn't say that I cared though. I got into my truck and got on my way to the Cullen residence. The roads were quiet, I had opened my window and heard close to no birds singing. That was pretty weird, I was in the middle of the forest for crying out loud! As soon as I thought that little raindrops fell on my windshield, I quickly closed the window, I didn't want to get wet.

Soon I arrived to the Cullen driveway. As I reached the house it didn't show any sign of people being present. But I knew better than that. Why would Edward be out? He had hunted last night, that was why he wasn't with me. Who else would he be with? I knocked the door but nobody answered. I noticed the door wasn't locked and so I opened it. I heard nothing, but that didn't have to mean anything. I went straight to the room with the piano in it, knowing that Edward was there a lot. But nobody was there, then I went up to Edward's room. I hesitated, but realized that if he was here he probably would have already heard me anyway. I knocked the door and opened it, without waiting for a reply. As I opened the door, there was Edward… And… Tanya.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"_**Hope is as deadly as poison. Too much of it and it could destroy you."**_

_As I opened the door, there was Edward… And… Tanya._

Edward was wearing nothing but his shorts and Tanya was completely… naked. They were kissing, as soon as I opened the door they heard me though and I ran away. Before I had reached the front door Edward blocked the way.

"Wait… Bella! You… I… This is not what it looks like!" He was such a guy! And this was so cliché. Nothing but anger was running through my mind. I wanted to kill him, hurt him, kiss him. I loved him, how could he do this to me?

"It's not? Tell me what it was then, because to me it looked like you guys were having a whole lot of fun! Now if that was not it? Then tell me, Edward, what was it?" I was furious.

"Bella, she… she seduced me and…"

"Oh no, boy! Don't pull that card on me, you let her seduce you, then! If that is the whole truth," I hoped it was, I desperately hoped this was just a one-time thing. And not an affair, I was praying for it not to be a thing that had been going on for a while.

"I… It is, Bella. She just dropped by, unexpected and… well… She seduced me. I'm so sorry." He grabbed my hand but I jerked it away. I was so angry, so sad and felt so broken.

"I can't stand to look at you right now. We'll talk about this later. I do suggest, though, that you send the slut away!" I yelled at him. This wasn't necessary, I knew he'd hear me even if I whispered, but anger got the best of me. I wanted to slap him in the face but knew that if I would, I'd end up hurting myself instead of him.

"Okay, I understand. Can you call me when you're ready to talk about this?" His voice was calm, how could he be so calm? This wasn't possible. This was a bad dream, a nightmare, that was what this was. This just wasn't real. Edward would never cheat on me, he wouldn't. He couldn't. Edward was… too perfect. Or maybe he wasn't so perfect after all. I nodded at him, turned around and stalked out of the house. On my way I ran into Esme and Carlisle who just came home. When I looked behind me I saw that Edward was already gone.

"Bella, honey? Are you alright?" Esme enveloped me in a hug and rubbed my back. I let my tears go, I knew this was his mother and I shouldn't be doing this. Because she was supposed to pick his side, but I couldn't help myself. Her arms were too much of a comfortable space for me and so I cried, and cried. And she didn't say anything, she just held me tight, rubbed my back. She didn't even take me inside, she probably knew that wouldn't be the best of ideas. Maybe she heard or smelled Tanya and Edward and she knew that going inside and face those two would hurt me even more.

"Shhh, honey, it will be alright," she didn't ask what happened, she probably figured that out already. As I let go of her and she let go of me I saw the love and sweetness in her eyes, but there was also anger. I didn't want to be on Esme's shitlist and so I decided to just go home. I didn't need her angry with me right now.

"I'm going home," I whispered, she heard me, and nodded.

"Are you going to be alright? Do you want me to drive you? I'm not sure if you're fit to drive," Esme was really the sweetest person I'd ever met. Maybe she wasn't angry with me at all… Maybe…

"I'm not sure if I am either. But don't waste your time on that,"

"Oh Bella, come on. I have eternity ahead of me, I'm not wasting any time," she smiled, grabbed my hand and got me inside my car. We drove in silence, she didn't ask, I didn't tell. I couldn't. The only person I wanted to talk to right now was in New York doing god-knows-what. And I couldn't call her right now, she'd come back all worried and I didn't want that. She should just enjoy her weekend with Jasper, she deserved that. I'd talk to her when she got back. I could manage 2 days, couldn't I? Probably not. I thanked Esme after she dropped me off and she gave me a tight hug. Then I watched her disappear into the forest, I deeply hoped she and Carlisle would get mad at Edward, but I didn't think they would. He was their son and of course they'd pick his side.

I got inside and was greeted by an empty house. Charlie had left me a note, saying he was at Billy's, watching the game. I got to my room and dropped myself on the bed. Tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks. How could he do this to me? This… Betray me like that, again! He'd hurt me, again! Wasn't it ever enough? Did it always have to be more, more heartache, more pain, more horror. I wanted so much to hate him, but I couldn't. Because, despite what he had done to me just then, I loved him. With every ounce of my being. And, he didn't deserve that. I knew he didn't. But it would take something more for me not to love him anymore. And besides, nothing really happened, I came just in time.  
_Nothing happened YET!_ My inner voice spoke to me. And I knew it was right, but I couldn't admit this. It was impossible. He wouldn't have. He would have stopped in time. Before any real damage was done. He had probably sent her home by now and… it would never happen again. We would be okay. After we talked. But I couldn't talk to him, not right now. I was too angry, too sad, too heartbroken. He made a mistake, these things happened. I had kissed Jake too, before. And Edward had forgiven me for that, now I just had to forgive him for this and we were even. If only it would be that easy.

But I didn't fall asleep, every time I closed my eyes the picture of him and the blonde slut would pop up in my head. And I didn't want to think about _her_. Him, I could handle, she was just a little too much. Maybe I hated her even more than him, who was she to seduce my boyfriend? My fiancé! She didn't have the right, she probably knew he was engaged. Didn't she? Yeah, the Denali clan was very close to the Cullens, so she must have known. And yet… The mere thought repelled me and made it hard for me to breathe. I wanted answers, I wanted to know what was going on. And as much as I wanted to just be angry with only her, I was angry with Edward too. He had hurt me enough already and now this… He could have said no. He could have pushed her away, rejected her. He could have run away even, I'm sure he would be faster than her anyway. I wished I could go back there and kick her ass, but I couldn't. She was a vampire. Stronger. Faster. Easier. She _could_ have sex with him, I couldn't. He wouldn't bite her, he wouldn't accidentally kill her. He would bite me, he would kill me. He would drain me. She was easier.

"Bella! I'm home! Are you in your room?" Charlie's gruff voice filled the house. I sighed and sat up.

"Yeah, I'm here," I yelled. "No worries, I'm gonna start making dinner in a bit," I added. I heard his laugh and him muttering something, I didn't catch it though.

"Don't worry, Bella, I got us a pizza. I thought you'd still be over at the Cullens really, was a bit surprised when I saw your car," I heard footsteps and knew he had probably taken his almighty seat in the living room. Closest to the television. I dried my tears and made my way downstairs, I got us two plates and joined Charlie in the living room. He handed me a slice of pizza and we ate in silence. He didn't ask me how my day was, thank God he didn't. He probably knew me well enough by now to know that I was hurt and not in the mood to talk. But he and I both knew that sooner or later his father-side would win and he'd ask me what had happened. It was just a matter of time. He focused on the TV and I sat beside him, silent. Chewing on my pizza pepperoni. After I finished my half of the pizza I went back upstairs. Told Charlie I'd take a shower, do some homework and go to bed early. He didn't object and I was grateful for that.

After I dried myself with the biggest towel I had managed to find I went back to my room, I was tired. I had been through enough and I couldn't handle more. Sleep, was the only thing I craved. I was just hoping I could manage to fall asleep without a cold body pressing into my back. I always had troubles sleeping if Edward wasn't there with me. Though I doubted that would be the case today, because I was livid and I didn't even _want_ him close to me. The lights were out and I was lucky I hadn't bumped my toe into something yet. I focused on my feet, I wouldn't fall, I wouldn't fall, I wouldn't fall. I managed to get into my room safe and sound. As I turned the light switch a sense of déjà vu came over me. There, next to my bed stood the small frame of Alice Cullen. I was worried, sad, happy and unhappy at the same time. Why was she here? She was supposed to be in New York, with her husband. I didn't want her to come home, not because of me. She took three big steps in my direction and caught me in her arms before I broke down. I cried, cried and cried some more. She took me to the bed and we sat there for a while, I cried and she comforted me. She stroked my hair, my back, my arms. She made me feel better, even if it was just a little.

"Bella, honey. Why didn't you call?" She asked, after I had calmed down a little.

"Because, I didn't want you to come back. You and Jasper were spending the weekend and I didn't want to bother you," I whispered. She wiped away another tear with her thumb.

"You can be such an idiot sometimes. You could never bother me, Bella. I'm your friend, I want to be there for you. I can't believe Edward lied to us all," She embraced me and kissed me on the cheek. Lied to us all? What was that supposed to mean?

"Alice, what do you mean, lied to you all?"

"Well, he told us you knew about him and Tanya. He said you were okay with it, but judging by your reaction, I guess you didn't know," her face was serious and I was about to explode any second now. Him and Tanya? So there was more? This wasn't just a one-time thing? Ouch. And, she knew! She KNEW!

"You knew? Alice, why didn't you tell me!" I was angry, really angry. Angry at Edward, Tanya, Alice, and all the other Cullens. They all knew but never bothered to tell me. I pushed Alice away and got off the bed. Just as I was about to leave the room a cold hand grabbed mine.

"Bella, please. I'm so sorry. But, he said that he told you from the beginning and you were okay with it. He said that you loved him enough to share him. He also asked us all to never bring it up because you were uncomfortable talking about it," her eyes locked with mine and I could see the sincerity. Damn it, I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be livid. With Alice, with everyone. But I couldn't, not when Alice was being like this. I bit my lip and shook my head.

"I can't believe this," I whispered. I sat down, on the floor, with my back against my door. Tears started flowing again. What on earth did I do to deserve this?

"I'm sorry, Bella. I am, so very sorry." Alice sat next to me, a bit wary. I soon hugged her though and buried my face in her neck, wetting her neck with my salty tears. She didn't seem to mind, she just stroked my back and my arms, and she whispered sweet things to me. Being the best friend a girl could ask for. I fell asleep in her arms that night, on the floor.


	5. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hey guys. Thanks so much for all the reviews and alerts, they're awesome! :D Now, this chapter is really short, and I really apologize for it. It's even shorter than my other chapters.. So I'll update the next one very soon, maybe even today. I have to say that so far this story's got 10 chapters and the prologue, so it's pretty short. I ran out of inspiration at that point and so I'm just going to end it there. But meanwhile you've got 6 more chapters to look forward to. Thanks again and enjoy!_

**Chapter 4**

"_**The most important relationship you have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you'll always be with yourself."**_

The next morning I woke up in Alice's arms as well. But not on the floor, she had obviously put me back in bed and lay with me. Her cold, slender arm was wrapped around my body and her face was buried in my neck and covered by my hair. I loved it how my scent wouldn't bother her, it was so much easier spending time with her. I kept my eyes closed, I didn't want to wake up. I didn't want to go back to reality. Because if I got back to reality I'd have to deal with Edward, and I really couldn't do that right now. I wanted to stay in bed, with Alice. Her arm tightened around me a little and I felt her cold breath on my neck. This was the comfort I needed.

"Good morning, Bella," she whispered in my ear. I mumbled an incoherent answer and smiled when I heard her giggle.

"Bellaaaaa, you gotto wake up. I'm going to make you breakfast!"

"What? Isn't Charlie here? He doesn't know you stayed over does he? Or did you do your little trick again?" I hadn't moved an inch, my eyes were still closed and I had absolutely no intention of changing that.

"He got called in to the station, he left about an hour ago. And, what trick?"

"The puppy-eyes?"

"Ah, that one. Well, I only use that if I really have to!" She kissed my neck and got out of bed, rolling me over. Grunting I opened my eyes, hello horrible, coldhearted world. Alice smiled at my reaction and started bouncing a little.

"Oh I got it! You want breakfast on bed, huh?"

"I do! Now wake me up when it's done," I said, I closed my eyes again and rolled back over. I soon felt Alice's cold, soft hands on my naked back and jumped. I didn't see that one coming.

"No way! You're going to wake up, I will make you breakfast on bed, if that makes you happy, but you will be awake when I get back, deal?" Her eyes were shining and the puppy-eyes instantly effected me.

"Fine, fine," she giggled at my response and hurried herself downstairs. About fifteen minutes later she got back up, and my part of the deal was done, I was still awake. She handed me a plate full of pancakes and they smelled divine.

"Há, you showoff," I teased her. She 'hmpfed' at me and waited anxiously for me to try her creation.

"I'm not gonna get poisoned, right?" I teased her some more, she lightly smacked my arm and waited in silence. I ate my breakfast in silence, complimented her on her cooking-skills and stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Alice stayed with me, we lay in bed together and talked about all kinds of stuff. Mostly Edward though.

"Do you think there's more that I need to know?" I just wanted everything now, so that I'd have the whole truth when I'd confront him.

"No, I told you everything I know of, he and Tanya have been a thing for quite a while and well… then there was you."

"How come he asked me to marry him?" I didn't understand the situation, at all.

"You know, Bella, I'm sorry but I think you should ask him all this." I could see Alice felt like she said too much already. I had almost forgotten that she was his sister, above all she was his sister, she was supposed to stand behind him. Just like his parents were. All of a sudden I felt lonely. I had no sisters or brothers. I just had my grumpy father who hated Edward's guts already and would probably be nothing but happy to hear of this. Great.

"What's wrong? Did I say something?" Alice held me tighter and tried to make me feel comfortable again.

"I think you should go home, Alice," I said. She looked surprised and slightly hurt. Wow, I didn't mean to hurt her. I'd never deliberately hurt Alice.

"What? Why?" She obviously was confused, and that was quite funny. Because, Alice Cullen was never confused, she was always prepared.

"Because I think your family needs you right now. And you should pick sides for your family," it hurt me to say that, it really did. But I couldn't let Alice be with me when her brother needed her.

"But, I don't pick Edward's side. I can't stand him right now! His act was really low and I hate people like that, I want to be here, with you. I'm your friend, I want to be here for you," Alice had raised her voice at me and she scared me a little. Never had I been scared of the pixie-like girl, but now the day has come.

"But he's your brother!"

"And you're my friend! Bella! Don't be so ridiculous, I can decide whose side I'm on, and I'm on your side in this." I could see the tears in her eyes, and I felt so guilty. Quickly I embraced her and let my head rest on her shoulder. She did the same.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I just thought… Well, Edward always told me how important his family was to him and, well… He is family," she hugged me very tight and kissed the top of my head as she let go of me.

"That's true, but you're more important right now. Are you okay?" We talked for a while about how I felt and I asked her some more questions. After spending the whole day in bed she went home, because Charlie had called me down for dinner. She promised to be back later tonight though and I agreed. I started planning the conversation I'd have with Edward in my mind. I was done with him, I loved him, way too much. But I couldn't deal with this, I couldn't share. I was much too selfish for that. And I definitely couldn't share him with some blond slut from Alaska called Tanya. That was just too much to ask. I wouldn't. Even if he'd break up with her, I wouldn't take him back. Not this time, he really crossed the line. I decided, just now, that I could no longer date Edward Cullen. The only thing left for me to do was tell him that. And desperately hope he wouldn't force his family to move away again. This time, I wanted Alice to be with me during all the misery. I needed her. She was my best friend, and I wanted her to be with me.


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N: thank you guys for reading this. All the reviews make me very happy! :) Here's the 5__th__ chapter, I hope you'll like it. Review if you like, it would really make my day! :) _

**Chapter 5**

"_**Those who are allowed to shoot are those who are prepared to be shot."**_

I was in my bedroom, biting my nails. Never had I been more nervous, more angry and more sad. Never. I was pacing, just to kill some time. Edward would be here in about 5 minutes and I was nervous as hell. Alice and I had gone over this moment several times but not even she could predict how all of this would go.

Would he admit that he'd been seeing her for longer than just last time? Would he admit all the other things he'd done. Would he tell me the truth? All questions I hadn't asked Alice, it was hard enough for her already. I didn't want to put more pressure on the poor girl.

I had asked Edward to come in through the window, I didn't want Charlie to know of this, not yet. Something told me that I wasn't ready for him being an ass right now.

A few minutes later I heard shuffling of feet behind me, I quickly turned around and there he was. Edward. Once the man I loved, the man I was sure I could trust. He was everything I believed in. He was my life. He had promised me, long before, that he would forever love me, cherish me. He had even asked me to marry him, and stupid enough I had agreed. All because… Because of nothing, so it turns out.

He smiled at me and took a few steps forward. I instantly took a few steps back. I didn't want him close to me, not now. He seemed to understand because he didn't pressure this. At least he knew what was good for him.

"Bella, what you saw. It was a one-time thing, I swear!" His face spoke of innocence, false innocence. He obviously wasn't aware of the fact that I knew the truth. His lies angered me even more. Much more. And they hurt me too, so far for being honest, trustworthy and all.

"You're lying," I whispered. My eyes were focused on my shoes, I didn't want to face him. I couldn't look at him, that wouldn't be a very wise thing to do. Unfortunately I knew myself well enough to be able to conclude that if I would look at him, I'd give in. And at this moment, I couldn't give in.

"What? No, I'm not! Bella, please, you've got to believe me. Tanya came over to see me, I thought she just wanted to spend some time with her friend, but… obviously she had other plans and-

"Edward, shut up! Your lies seem all very convincing, but they're not. Not anymore. Don't lie to me, just… just tell me the truth," I was now practically begging him. All I wanted was the truth, was that too much to ask?

"Okay, I'll give you the truth. I love you, Bella. That is the truth," he said. He took a huge, fast step forward and cupped my face with his cold hands. I loved the feeling of this. And I wanted so much to just deny to myself what had happened and kiss him. Oh, how I wanted to kiss him. But I couldn't. It wouldn't be right to give into my stupid, idiotic thoughts and cravings.

"Don't touch me, Edward. And don't lie to me! I know that you and Tanya have been together for quite a while now. And I know that you told your family that I was aware of this and that I was okay with it! I know everything! You… Why? Why am I not enough for you, Edward? What did I do to deserve this?" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. He was no longer touching me and I felt a few tears rolling down my cheek. I quickly wiped them away, no way I wanted him to see me cry.

"Who told you that, Bella? It's a lie!"

"No Edward! You are a lie, everything of you. I don't get it, what… what did I do to deserve this, Edward?"

"You didn't do anything, my sweet Bella," his smooth voice almost won me over. Though not completely.

I looked around my room, my bed was unmade, the window was open and a soft breeze was messing with loose papers that were scattered all over the place. And there was Edward, a guy who looked so perfect on the outside, but turned out to be the complete opposite. The hole in my chest, which was there when he left me in the woods and the time following, but had completely healed after he came back and gave us another shot of eternity, was now open again. And it hurt, his lies were like salt that was pressed into the wound. It hurt!

"Fuck you, Edward! If you're not going to be honest with me, you'd better leave."

"No, Bella. Fine. I'll be honest. Yes, me and Tanya have been seeing each other for a while. But I didn't think you'd understand so… So I didn't tell you. As for the 'why' part, it's easy. I don't have to restrain myself around her. It's just… easy." His eyes were piercing into my soul again I sat down on my bed. He was smart enough not to sit beside me though. I wanted to cry. So bad. But I couldn't. It would ruin everything if I cried. He'd see my weakness and I didn't want him to.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Tanya and I… We've been… Together, if that's the right word, for quite a while. Before I knew you even," this shocked me. He was with her, and yet he… Oh my God.

"Why did you even come to Forks, if you were with that…. Girl?" He thought about that question for a second.

"Because Alice told me about you, she said she saw this special girl in her visions. And I couldn't let that chance slip by. She said you'd be fascinating and so I came with them." Well, at least he was being honest now. This hurt like hell though. He just came because _I _was fascinating? Is that all he thought of me, a fascinating, fragile little human? Ouch.

"So, you're just with me because I'm fascinating?"

"No! Of course not! Bella, I really love you. I do. So very much. And Tanya, that was … a mistake. I love you, not her. You've got to believe me," he pleaded. Could I believe him though? After all the lies he told, everything I believed in turned out to be a lie. Who said he really loved me. The only person who could tell me that, with complete honesty, was Jasper. And I wasn't planning on asking him.

"Sure," I said, sarcasm thick in my voice. He looked worried, pained. No, not even pained, just worried.

"Can you forgive me, Bella?" How dare he ask that question? I was so mad at him, and now he was asking me to forgive him? And then what? Take him back? Oh, no way. No way in hell.

"No Edward, I can't. You… the hole I told you about? It's back, bigger than ever," he had to feel guilty. I wanted him to feel guilty. For all I cared he could just run off to the Volturi to have him ended, but this time I would not come to save his sparkly ass. And I was pretty sure that neither would Alice.

"But we can mend it right? The hole. We can be alright again, happy?" I shook my head and now there was anger on his face. I didn't understand, wasn't I supposed to be the one to be angry, instead of him? He didn't have the right to be angry with _me_.

"Damn you, Bella! You have no idea what I feel for you, and you have no idea how much I've been through for you. You think this is hard on you? Imagine what it must be like for me! It's not easy to lie to the girl I love more than life itself, you know?" I snorted, loudly so.

"If you loved me that much, you wouldn't have lied to me! And don't throw in the guilt-card. 'Cause I'm not falling for that!" I yelled at him, and hit his chest. I knew he wouldn't feel it though, and it was like smacking a wall, it just hurt.

"Hitting me isn't going to work, Bella. I'm sorry, I wish you could hurt me, because I deserve to be hurt," he said. He cupped my cheek again and held me tight. I couldn't move away from him, I tried, though. He smiled softly and placed a soft kiss on my lips. He then let go of me.

"Don't you ever do that again, Edward! I think it would be best if you just left. I don't want to be with you anymore. You hurt me, a lot. This is the second time you opened that damn hole, and it's enough." It hurt me to say that. Oh, why couldn't I just hate him. I wanted to hate him, but I still loved him. And he loved me, I was sure. Not for my blood, just for me. Just for being Bella Swan.

"Fine! I was only with you for your scent anyway Bella. I can't believe I didn't just give in that first day, all this crap would have been spared!" He spat the words and at that second I broke. Because I could see both the anger and the sincerity in his eyes. He meant those words. They broke me. No longer could I believe that he ever loved me. He loved my scent. He… loved the fact that he couldn't read my mind, that I was different. But… not me.

"You WHAT?" I was frantic. All I wanted to do at this moment was cry, yell and die. My whole world had just fallen down on me.


	7. Chapter 6

_A/N: Thanks all for reviewing and reading my story! I'm glad you all like it, it means so much to me. On with the show, though. Here's the 6__th__ chapter! :)_

**Chapter 6**

"_**Sometimes I gaze into my reflection, but the only thing I see is my sorrow"**_

Covered in sweat I opened my eyes. Nightmare. After Edward had come back last year the nightmares had disappeared. But after all this, obviously they had returned to mommy. The next thing I felt was a cold body pressing into mine. It felt good, it was soothing. And I knew it wasn't Edward because this body was much smaller, and much more feminine. This was, without a doubt, Alice.

"It's alright, Bella. You can sleep, everything is going to be fine," she whispered in my ear. I felt my body relax under her touch and after hearing her words. She wrapped her arm around my waist and I leaned into her. Then I thought about the nightmare I had had, Edward of course. His words had frightened me. _'I can't believe I didn't just give in that first day, all this crap would have been spared!' _Did he really want to kill me? Would he kill me? Would I mind if he did? No, because life without Edward wasn't life. Not for me.

The rest of the night was spent in silence, but I didn't fall asleep again. Alice kept stroking my arm and the feeling of that was very pleasant. She didn't ask me about anything and didn't speak herself either, we just lay there, silent. Despite the hole in my chest, it was a comfortable night. Last time this hole had been there I had Jacob to take care of it. He had been my sun, he had tried to mend my broken heart, but hadn't quite succeeded. That wasn't his fault though, I feared that nobody other than Edward would be able to mend it. But at least Jacob had put a bandage on it, tried to make it whole again. And for the time being, it had been enough. But this time, this time was different. Jacob wasn't here anymore, after our little fight we had lost contact. I was afraid we weren't friends anymore. Yet here was Alice, sweet, caring Alice. Perhaps she'd do a better job in mending my heart.

When the sun got up Alice hid under the blankets. I supposed she didn't want me to see her sparkle. Perhaps she didn't realize how awesome I found their sparkles. I slowly turned around and faced her, under the blankets. She giggled softly and her hand didn't leave my waist.

"Alice, why are you hiding from the sun?" I whispered.

"Because as soon as the sun touches my skin, it reveals the monster I really am," she was too whispering. She wrinkled her nose a little and looked extremely cute. I quickly pulled the covers from her and she immediately started to sparkle.

"Bella! What are you doing?"

"I think it's gorgeous when you sparkle!" I pouted, why would she hide herself like that? She didn't have to, not with me around.

"Why thank you," she smiled and I slowly got out of bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" I smiled at Alice and she was looking at me, wide eyes.

"I'm going to take a shower. Alice, thank you so much for coming tonight," I gave her a tight hug and we stayed like that for a bit. I felt totally at ease in Alice's arms and quite frankly I didn't want to leave. But I knew that sooner or later I had to, I had to take a shower. I was pretty sure I smelled horribly and even though I felt like crap, that didn't mean I had to smell like crap too. Alice told me she'd go hunting for a while but promised to come back later that day. Unfortunately I had to go to school, and none of the Cullens would be there. The sun was shining after all. I still hadn't told Charlie about anything and so I couldn't ask him to let me stay at home. After my shower I took an apple and went to school. I'd be all alone today, good. Because I wasn't quite sure if I'd be able to handle other people today. Big chance Mike would try something on me again, though. But I'd get rid of him easy enough. My classes were boring, and nothing but Edward was on my mind. During lunch I sat, as predicted, alone. I couldn't eat, I felt exactly like last year, but worse. Never had I thought that was possible, but obviously it was. The day didn't get better at all. The ache which first was in my chest only had now spread all through my body. Everything hurt. Talking hurt, thinking hurt, moving hurt, everything.

After 5th period I decided it had been enough for today, and went to do something I had never done before. I skipped school. As I was making my way to the truck I decided it was time Jacob and I made up. He wasn't going to school anymore, that much I knew. He had to protect the tribe after all, and protectors obviously didn't have time for school. I got my cell-phone and called him.

"Hello?"

"Billy, hi. It's Bella. I was wondering, is Jacob home?" I tried my best, I knew that Billy didn't hate me, it was Jacob who didn't like me for choosing Edward over him. But I knew that I needed Jacob now, I needed my friend back. What if the Cullens would move again, what if Edward got everyone to pack and disappear from my life again? I needed Jacob. As selfish as that sounded.

"Oh, hi Bella. Sure he's home, do you want to talk to him?"

"Yes, please. Just… don't tell him it's me, he might not want to talk to me," I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. Mere seconds later I heard Jacob's voice. For the first time in… weeks.

"Hello?"

"Jacob…" was the only thing I managed to say. It wasn't until now that I realized how much I had missed him.

"Bella?" He spat my name, he did sound surprised though.

"Yeah, Jake it's me. Listen, please don't hang up on me. I was wondering if maybe we could talk sometime, I miss you Jake," I had to tell him about Edward. I knew that he hated him already and this wouldn't make that better, but at least he wasn't related to him. It would be easier to talk to him about this.

"Err, sure, Bella. I miss you too. So, would you maybe like to come over sometime? I mean, if your bloodsucker will _let_ you," I could imagine his face at this point. Wrinkled nose, disgust obvious in his eyes. I told him I wanted to come over right now and he agreed. His next patrol wasn't until tonight and we'd have plenty of time to catch up.

I got into my car and quickly left the parking lot. I hoped no teachers had seen me, and if they had, that was just too bad. I couldn't really bring myself to care. Detention was the last of my sorrows right now, I had other things to deal with. I texted Alice that I was going to see Jake, so she shouldn't get worried if my future disappeared. I felt pretty nervous, I really hoped that Jake and I could make up, because he used to be my very best friend. Spending time with him always was easy as breathing, until he claimed that I was in love with him too. That was when things started to freak me out, but I was pretty sure he'd give up on that now. If he knew what was good for him, that is. A good twenty minutes later I parked my car next to Jacob's house. Mere seconds later he came running out the house and hugged me tightly, rotated me in the air for a while and after he put me back on the ground smiled at me. His big, Jacob-ish grin.

"Hi, Jake," I said.

"Hey, Bells. So… beach?" I nodded and we made our way to the beach, his house was pretty close by so it was quite a short walk. When we got there we both sat down on our log.

"Bella, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you look like shit!" He grinned at me and I sighed. Should I tell him? Yes, probably. He was practically asking for it, right? Would I sound really selfish if I just told him what was bothering me? Yes, probably.

"So, are you going to tell me what is up with you? Or not?" He nudged me, for the first time in quite a while I felt at ease with him again. This was exactly what I had come looking for. My Jacob, the one whom I loved so much. As a friend, mind you.

"It's… Jacob, I want to tell you. But you've got to promise me not to be an ass, can you do that?"

"Sure, sure. No problem. Now, tell me," he gave me his full attention. I figured this break of ours had done both of us good.

"Okay, thanks. Edward cheated on me," I looked at him, as soon as I said the word 'cheated' anger flashed across his face. His lips were a tight line and he furrowed his brow.

"Ouch, with who?"

"Tanya. She's one of the vampires from Alaska. You know, they're like… cousins of the Cullens I guess," his big, warm hand was now on my arm. He was comforting me.

"So he likes to fuck his cousin? That's pretty sick…"

"Jake!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry."

"Anyway, turns out he's been with her for years already, even before he knew me." Jacob had a tear rolling down his cheek. Wow, I had never seen him cry, well, one time, almost. But not like this, I felt bad for him. It hadn't been my intention to make him cry, of course not.

"I have to admit that I never liked the guy, but this… I didn't see this one coming Bella," he quickly wiped the tear away and pulled me in for a hug.

"It gets worse, Jake. Turns out his whole family knew about it and-

"And they never told you? O God, I thought the short one was your friend and all," he everything but shouted.

"She is! Alice said he told his family that I knew about it and that it was okay with me. He also told his family not to talk to me about it because I was 'uncomfortable' talking about it. He's such an… an…"

"An ass?"

"Yes. And when I got angry with him, and broke up and all, he said he only liked me for my smell anyway. He said he couldn't believe he didn't just kill me that first day," I was now crying. Big, salty tears were rolling down my cheeks and Jacob softly rubbed my back. He didn't say a word, he was just there for me. I noticed how well he had his temper under control. He wasn't even shaking a little. And I knew for sure that he was angry, he loved me, his biggest enemy hurt me, he must have been so angry. But it didn't show. We sat on the beach for the remainder of the afternoon. He held me the whole time, in a very comfortable way. Just before dinnertime he walked me to my car and we said our goodbyes.

"Bells, if you want me to kill him, just say the word," he winked after he said that and surprisingly so it made me laugh. This was my first _sincere_ laugh in days! I could slowly feel a depression sink in, but at least this time I'd have more people to support me. That is, if Edward didn't force his family away.

"Jeez, thanks Jake." I said, sarcastically. He smiled and hugged me once more. I got into my car and drove off, back home. Jacob and I had both said sorry for our behavior these past couple of months and I promised him to come around more often. I definitely would, because I could use a little distraction, especially now. I opened the window, the sun was still shining and warmed my skin a little. Even though I liked the sun the feeling of depression didn't fade…


	8. Chapter 7

_A/N: Thank you guys so much again for everything! You're the amazingest people! (amazingest doesn't exist does it? Ah well, too bad.) I hope you'll enjoy next chapter, and reviews are much appreciated! _

**Chapter 7**

"_**If we're all alone, we're all together in that too."**_

That night, after dark, Alice came back, as promised. She embraced me and told me how worried she had been. Apparently she had never received my text message but she was very happy that I was okay. All safe and sound. She made my homework, she insisted, and I lay on the bed, thinking… Again.

"You know? The family gave Edward some serious crap about what he did," Alice murmured, in between writing words on a sheet of paper.

"She did?"

"Yes, he hadn't told them, of course. Not even after you broke up with him, so I decided to be the bad guy… eh, bad girl, and tell them what was going on. At first they didn't believe me, but after convincing them I wouldn't lie about something like this, about you… they finally believed me and all of them were furious. When Edward got home Emmett told him the truth about himself and both Carlisle and Jasper had to keep him from seriously injuring Edward. I believe his exact words were 'you don't treat a girl like that, or your family'." Alice never took her eyes away from me, I was quiet. Not sure if I wanted to hear the rest of the story, but Alice took my silence as a cue to go on.

"After Emmett calmed down a bit Esme started interrogating Edward. It was pretty obvious that he was disappointed in his family, I think he expected us to support him. Rosalie was thoroughly disgusted by him, but well.. she really considers him as her brother, I guess I know why, they've known each other for so long. Anyway, after that Carlisle took him upstairs to his office, and as his office is sound-proof I have no clue as to what was discussed there. I do however know that everybody is angry," Alice smiled softly at me and even though I was somewhat sad that Edward had infuriated his own family, it made me feel better. I guess this meant they considered me family too, right?

"Yes, Bella, you are considered family. We all love you so much, why don't you realize it?"

"Because it makes no sense," those were my only words. I remained quiet for the next minutes.

"Alice, you're not going to leave are you?"

"Of course not. I'll stay with you tonight, Bella."

"No, that's not what I mean. I meant, now that Edward and I are over, you won't leave me right? You're all going to stay?" I knew my voice sounded hopeful, desperate even. And perhaps I was desperate. If they'd leave again I didn't know what I'd do. It wasn't just Edward that I had missed during his absence. It was the whole family, Rosalie excluded. Just thinking about that period of my life was painful. I felt my eyes sting and I knew I was going to cry again. Instantly Alice was at my side, she hugged me and caressed my arm and my back.

"Bella, listen. I'm never going to leave you again, not unless you want me to. My family can move if they want, I don't know if they do, I don't think so, but if they want to move, they can. But I will stay behind, because I have seen what it did to you. And I can't ever do that again, I'm sure it would be different, though. But that doesn't change everything. I am not leaving, okay?" Her words touched me and I could, once again, feel the wetness of my tears on my cheeks. My tears stained Alice's shirt but she didn't seem to mind. She kissed the top of my head multiple times and I relaxed under her touch. When it was 10.30 PM she ordered me to go to sleep. Promising me she'd stay with me. As soon as my head hit the pillow I fell asleep.

I was at school, it was lunch period. The whole Cullen family, Edward included, was present. Emmett's anger was still visible, he didn't as much as glance at Edward. Alice and I were sitting somewhere else though. I couldn't handle being around Edward any longer. He'd remind me of all the pain that was inflicted on me. We were outside, away from everything.

"Can we go to your truck?"Alice asked. I didn't understand why but as I looked to above and saw the clouds part I nodded. We wouldn't want her exposed, would we? Nope. We moved to my truck and got in.

"You know, Edward is leaving us…" Alice said softly. Her eyes were on her lap and she was playing with her fingers. This I really didn't see coming, and honestly, it hurt. Even if it was only a little. Maybe it would be better, though. Me and him weren't going to be okay anyway and without him here I wouldn't be reminded of all the crap he caused that much. As long as the rest of them would stay here, I liked them way too much. Selfish really.

"Where's he going?"

"Alaska. He and Tanya are going to live with Tanya's coven," she explained. Of course, where else would he have gone? Italy, like, no way!

"Well, I'm sorry. You guys must feel really bad I assume?" I put my hand on her shoulder and she nodded a little.

"I hate him for what he did to you, you know? But he's still my brother. Carlisle and Esme really don't like it at all, they don't want him to leave. But they don't want to leave Forks either, so they're staying." I nodded. I seriously felt bad for Esme and Carlisle. He was their first son, he'd been with them for so long!

"And Edward didn't want us to come anyway, he said he and Tanya need to spend some 'alone-time'." Alice looked very sad through it all. Unfortunately I couldn't be sad about this. In fact, to me it looked like a little light in the darkness. Edward gone, sure it would be hard, and I was still broken. The hole was still there, because I still loved him. And I felt so very betrayed.

"Oh Alice, I'm so sorry!" Now it was my turn to comfort her, and I would. I'd be there for her always. Just like she'd be here for me always. My hand found hers and I squeezed it a little, in responding she leaned into me and let me comfort her. Even though vampires couldn't cry, they could still feel emotions and right now, Alice was very sad.

"When is he leaving?" I asked, whispering.

"In a few days… My visions say Friday," she turned her head around and looked at me with watery eyes. I stroked her cheeks with my thumbs and kissed her forehead. "You'll be okay, Alice. You guys can still visit each other, right? I mean, I know it's hard… But Edward won't be gone completely," I tried to encourage her. Of course I sucked at that, like I sucked at everything else that had to do with emotions. Both my dad and I weren't good with emotions, so I knew who I earned the gene from.

"That's true," Alice was now smiling, but the smile never reached her eyes.

"Alice, do you want to go back to class?"

"Not really. It's not like it's my first high school experience. But you on the other hand…"

"I don't care. I don't want to go back either," I smiled. It was obvious she was impressed by my rebellious behavior. I had never skipped class before, and here I was, skipping for 2 days in a row. Tut tut tut Bella. Alice giggled softly and it was remarkable to me how quickly her emotions changed.

"Are you sure? You skipped school yesterday, and now you want to do it today? What if Charlie finds out? He'll have you grounded again!" Alice's quick speech and high-pitched voice made me smile.

"Screw Charlie. I have never skipped school in my entire life. So if he finds out I have skipped 2 times I'm sure he'll forgive me for it." I winked at her and started my car. Slowly the car roared to life and we left school grounds.

"So, where are we going?" I asked. The sun was still shining upon us and it came through the windshield a little, I could see the diamond-like sparkle in Alice's skin and was once again amazed by its beauty.

"You wanna go to the forest? We could take a walk?"

"Alice, with my luck I'm going to fall and break my neck," I said, smiling. She pouted and how could I resist? "Alright, fine!" I always submitted to her, she was just so… Ugh, she always got her way, both with me and my dad. I drove us to the forest, which was basically all around us.

"If you really don't want to walk I could always carry you?" she said, teasing.

"I'll _try_ to walk, and if I fall and break my neck you can carry me to the hospital," I winked again and she sighed funnily. As I got my key from the ignition she grabbed my hand and pushed me out of the truck, within the blink of my eye she was next to me. We both took off into the forest, after we walked in silence for half an hour I could practically see the frustration on Alice's face.

"What?" I asked.

"This is going waaaaaay too slow!" she whined. "Would you, Bella Swan, _please _give me, Alice Cullen, permission to carry you? Because… Because…"

"Yeah, fine. Go ahead, it's not like you'll notice anyway," I said, laughing mockingly. Just as I expected her to swing me onto her back she grabbed me on my back and under my knees and carried me bridal-style. This was different from what I was used to, but I had to say, much more comfortable. Her speed increased and I closed my eyes, their speed had always kind of freaked me out and with my eyes closed it wasn't as bad. I left my head to rest against Alice's shoulder and I heard a content sigh come from her. She kept on 'walking' for quite a while until she put me down. We were now at a clearing, a way too familiar clearing. The exact same clearing where we had played baseball, and the exact same clearing where my life had been in danger. But somehow, with Alice here, it wasn't as scary as I had thought it would be.

We both sat down on the damp forest-ground and stared at each other. After a while I lay down. I let my head rest on Alice's lap and she played with my hair a little. Nothing was said, and words were totally unnecessary at this moment. We were just Alice and Bella, having a good time. Enjoying each other's company. I had soon lost track of time and was very disappointed when Alice announced it was time for me to go home. She saw that I didn't want to go and it made her laugh.

"Come on, you can't deny that you have been horribly bored all afternoon!" she said, teasingly.

"I have not been bored at all! Actually, I had a great time. It was very… relaxing," I didn't move an inch though. My head was still on her lap and she didn't make a move to leave either.

"Yeah, me too. Took my mind off things a bit…" she admitted. I knew that if she could have, she would have been blushing.

"Alice, there is more, isn't there?"

"What do you mean, honey?"

"I mean, it's not just Edward leaving that made you sad. Something else happened," I didn't realize until now. Of course Alice would miss Edward, but she'd never be so depressed about that. She looked me in the eyes and what I saw in hers shocked me. Agony. Worry. Fear and.. love.

"Alice, talk to me, please?" I whispered. I sat up, got myself closer to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She started dry-sobbing and buried her face in the crook of my neck. I rubbed her arm and her back, Alice seemed about just as broken as me. Why?

"Jasper is going with Edward," oh, that's why. That was awful! How could he do that, what about Alice?

"What? Why?"

"He… Ehm, he broke up with me. He wouldn't tell me why though, he just said that I should 'follow my heart'," she looked confused.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Oh Alice, I'm so so so sorry! I've been such a selfish bitch!" I started apologizing. Why was I only thinking about myself? My own misery, how about Alice?

"It means that he knows my heart doesn't belong to him any longer, and he decided to make way for the person who it does belong to. The problem is that he knows something that I don't, and that's pretty weird. Bella, don't apologize, you haven't been a selfish bitch, you have been through quite a lot this past week. Don't worry about me, alright?" She kissed the top of my head, picked me up and carried me back to my car.


	9. Chapter 8

_A/N: Here's the 8__th__ chapter, there's 2 more coming.. I'm going on a holiday next Monday so you'll have the complete story before then! Promise promise.. :) I hope you'll enjoy this one. Thanks once again for all the reviews, I'd love to get more! :) _

**Chapter 8**

"_**May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays."**_

That Saturday I spent with Alice, at her place. She and I both needed each other's company as we were both sad about the happenings from the past few months. The entire family seemed happy to see me, all but Rosalie of course. Never had I expected any one of them to be happy about this. I had to say that it was quite quiet in the house, now that Edward and Jasper were both gone. Esme tried to look as happy possible, but everybody knew that she had a very hard time coping with the departure of two of her sons. Emmett pulled me into a bone-cracking hug the minute I entered the house and this really comforted me. Even though it hurt a little, Emmett often seemed to not realize how strong he really was. It made me smile nonetheless.

"I've missed you, little sis! How are you doing?" He had a goofy grin plastered on his face while he waited for me reply.

"Not too bad, I guess. I missed you too, Emmy-bear," he smiled at hearing the nickname Alice always used on him behind his back. As I let my gaze wander to Rosalie I saw her glare harden.

"Rosalie! Don't be so mean!" Alice shrieked, Rosalie merely shrugged her shoulders and walked away. It didn't even hurt me anymore, Rosalie had never liked me and I took it she never would. We stayed downstairs for a couple before minutes before we headed to her room.

We were both sitting on her bed, she had been drawing me. It was one of her passions, and she happened to be very good at it too.

Someone knocked the door, slowly the door opened and Esme's head peeked around the corner.

"Bella, dear, are you hungry? Or thirsty?" I smiled softly at her, she was such a loving woman. The perfect mother and the only thing crossing my mind at that moment was: 'the Cullen children are lucky to have her.'

"Thanks Esme, but no, I'm not really hungry, or thirsty," she smiled at me and left us alone again. Once again I could see that Esme had difficulties with both Edward and Jasper leaving. The house was surprisingly silent.

"Here, I'm done!" Alice handed me the sheet of paper on which she'd been drawing. It was beautiful, too bad she chose to draw me instead of some hot person, but still, it was beautiful.

"Alice! It's… wow. Gorgeous!" She giggled and looked at her feet. A second later she looked up at me and I saw her eyes, I had never really paid attention to them that well. But now that she was so close, I could see that, even though the color was the same, her eyes were much more beautiful than Edward's. In fact, Alice was much more beautiful than Edward. How come I never realized that before? Her touch was much softer… Her voice was much sweeter… She had no troubles being close to me. She was a great friend, she was loyal, nice, funny. Everything Edward turned out not to be.

"Thank you," she whispered. She put the drawing aside and snuggled into me. A minute later we were both lying on the bed and she had her head on my shoulder. I was playing with her short, spiky hair and loved the silky feeling of it.

"Bella? Do you want to see a movie?" she asked after quite a long while of silence. I nodded at her and told her she could pick the movie. This obviously made her day as she started bouncing up and down and leapt to her TV. She had a shitload of DVD's stashed under it and picked one with a pink cover. _Pink._ I never found out what the name of the movie was, because as soon as it had started I snuggled up with Alice and had been paying attention to everything but the movie. I had been thinking about her, Edward, Jasper, Jacob, everyone. So I hadn't seen a second of the movie. Alice didn't seem to notice though and she seemed to really like the movie. The sight of her being happy made me happy.

And then I started thinking some more. After the Cullens had come back last year, Alice and I had been incredibly close. Every time I was around her I felt totally comfortable. I felt like I could really be myself around her, like I could tell her anything. Trust wasn't an issue, I trusted Alice, small, little Alice, with my life. I'd give my kidney for her, not that she should ever need it, but just figuratively speaking. I loved her. I loved Alice, a lot. She always managed to cheer me up, even in a situation as this, where I was trying to deal with a huge hole in my chest, she managed to make me feel happy. As weird as that may sound.

"Did you like it?" A soft voice came from behind me.

"Like what?" I turned around and faced Alice.

"The movie of course… You haven't really been watching, have you?" She looked guilty, worried even. Wow, wait, she thought I hadn't enjoyed myself? She was so wrong, I had more than enjoyed myself. I loved spending time with her, even if it was just laying down doing nothing.

"Sorry," I said. I didn't want to disappoint her, but I had no idea watching the movie was so important to her. "Sorry, no, I didn't really watch. I was just… thinking. Enjoying the moment," I said. I pressed myself into Alice's petite frame and she wrapped her arms around me. If I hadn't known better, we looked very much like a couple in love….

**A month later**

Things were so much better than a month ago. I now had 3 homes. My house with Charlie, Jacob's place and the Cullen residence. I had always thought I could never live without Edward, I had proven myself wrong. It was possible. It was difficult, but definitely possible. I still missed him, still loved him, it still hurt, but it was all eased by my best friends. Alice and Jake. They really were the best friends a girl could possibly ask for. Alice hadn't left me alone for one single night, she was always with me or I was with her. Jacob always invited me over in the weekends. Last week I graduated, despite my wishes Alice had thrown me huge graduation-party and had invited the whole senior class and most of the juniors too. It was good, though. I had fun, and so did she. She had had her fun with the preparations alone, though, but it was still so good to see her smile and dance. And the true miracle happened, she had gotten me to dance. Which was a very rare happening, unfortunately that moment was registered by lots of camera's and Alice now had a picture of _me dancing_ hanging on her wall. It was truly embarrassing.

The past month I had also come to realize that I loved Alice probably a lot more than I should. More than a normal best friend would. Every time she touched me I felt tingles. Each night she'd come to me and I really enjoyed it a lot when she was pressed into me, her arms around me. I sought out as many excuses as I could to just touch her for a second, or to talk to her for a minute. Now that I had graduated I had a lot of spare time which I spent with Alice and Jacob. They still didn't like each other, but Jacob had tried to be nice to Alice when they saw each other. Sometimes when Alice was at my place, Jake would come over and hang out for a while. He'd never stay too long, though, always complaining about the smell. But at least he hadn't been very rude and he and Alice seemed to actually get along better over time. I knew that friendship between those two was too much to ask for, but a girl could still hope, right?

Alice had stayed over again and was pacing the room as I ate my breakfast, she never paced, only when she was nervous about something. But then again, Alice wasn't nervous very much. I took another bite of the French-toast she made, of course it was delicious. After 5 minutes of watching her pace I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Alice, what's up? Why are you nervous?" As soon as I had spoken she jerked her head in my direction and took 3 big steps. She was now next to me and she took her place on one of the chairs in my small kitchen.

"Bella, I want to ask you something," she whispered.

"Okay, shoot," I smiled at her but she didn't smile back.

"As weird as this may sound, I can't get a vision of your answer, and I am afraid you'll say no," she looked at her fidgeting hands and then back up to me. I was still smiling, whatever it was she'd ask, I could never say no to her.

"I won't, just ask me," I said, smiling.

"Okay… Here goes nothing. Bella, will you go on holiday with me?" Wow, this was it? How could she even think I'd say no? On holiday with Alice, hell yes.

"Uh, wow… Yes, of course I will! Where are we going?" She smiled at my enthusiasm which made me laugh. She was just too cute for her own good.

"I don't know, some place not very sunny, because I'd be hotel-bound all the time. I thought, maybe some rainy place in Europe?" Europe? I'd never been there, but I had always wanted to go there. My dad thought it was nonsense, he always used to say that everything they had in Europe we have more of it here in the US. I wasn't too sure about that though. My mom never wanted to go anywhere where the sun wouldn't shine. The rain and coldness was one of the reasons she couldn't live in Forks anymore.

"Sounds perfect to me, Alice! I'm so excited! I've never been to Europe before!"

"You haven't? Oh, but you must! It's really beautiful, for once, everyone should see Ireland at least once in their lives!" Alice was rambling again and it made me even more excited to go. I'd be alone with Alice the whole time. Unless she had planned on taking the family? But I didn't think she had, because she never mentioned them in her question.

"Well, then, let's go to Ireland!" I exclaimed. Alice smiled and nodded her head, obviously just as excited as I was.

"Cool, I'll get us some plane-tickets and book some hotels! We could travel all around the country! I could just steal a car and-

"No! Alice! No more stealing, the Porsche you stole in Italy was bad enough!" She sighed and looked at me and pretended to be annoyed.

"Fine! No more stealing, I'll rent one," she sighed again and the cute pout on her face made me want to go 'aww'. But I managed not to. I gave her the thumbs up and a mere second later she was on the phone with the airport.

"We're going next week! And we can stay as long as we like," she said, smiling. I remembered that a while ago I had wished Edward would take me on a short holiday, a weekend. A mere weekend. And now I was going on a full holiday with Alice, for an indefinite time. I found that thinking about him hurt less and less. And all of it was thanks to Alice. My feeling for him decreased as my feelings for Alice got only worse. She was just… so sweet. So perfect. So flawless. So beautiful.


	10. Chapter 9

_A/N: Hey everyone. Thanks again for all the support. I will post the next and last chapter tomorrow, before I leave! Thanks so much for everything! Enjoy. _

**Chapter 9**

"_**In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on."**_

One week later Alice and I both packed our suitcases and took off to the airport. An hour later we were on our plane, the flight would take pretty long. We'd arrive in the morning. I set my head to rest against Alice's shoulder who wrapped one arm around me. I felt complete and content. My eyes closed and Alice's fingers toyed with my hair, which made me fall asleep even sooner.

When I woke up my face was buried in Alice's neck. I breathed in and her delicious scent overwhelmed me. She was just so… perfect. She still had her arm around me and as soon as I opened my eyes and sat up she smiled at me.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," she whispered, her lips touched my forehead and lingered for a second. I enjoyed every moment of her touch, of her presence.

"Hey," my voice sounded terrible, it always did when I had just woken up. I hated it. "Are we almost there yet?"

"Just a few hours… You could sleep some more if you'd like?" She smiled at me and I felt my knees go weak, good thing I was sitting. I shook my head, no I had wasted enough time sleeping as it was.

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

"What have you planned for us?" A mischievous grin appeared on her face and I felt a knot in my stomach. This was going to be… very unpleasant.

"I thought, since we arrive in Dublin, we could do some shopping there?" She pouted and looked at me with her wide, cute, puppy-eyes. Ah come on! This was so unfair!

"Alice! That's so unfair! You know I can't resist you if you do that!" she smiled and nodded.

"Yeah I know, that's why I do it," I smacked her arm, of course she wouldn't feel it but still. She softly rubbed the place I hit her and mouthed an 'ouch' just to make me smile, and it worked. Of course.

"So? Is that a yes?" she asked. I rolled my eyes and nodded. "I feel like you won't take no for an answer anyway, and a fight with you is one I'll definitely lose." Alice laughed at my words, earning some annoyed looks by the other people on the plane.

We had just arrived at the hotel and Alice had given me some time to shower, she was unpacking our suitcases. In my eyes that was a very useless thing to do as we would leave this place in two days time, but she insisted. Bragging about being able to pack in minutes time. Rolling my eyes I disappeared into the bathroom. Ten minutes later I felt clean enough and got out of the shower in my underwear. As I was dressing myself I could feel Alice's eyes on me and it turned me on, slightly. I knew that she probably wasn't looking at me in that way and so I tried to ignore the feeling I got in my lower abdomen. When I was fully dressed Alice all but dragged me out of the hotel room and into the city. We walked for hours, occasionally Alice would ask me if I was hungry or she'd drag me into a store because she saw something to her liking. All the while she held my hand, which got us some weird looks from the other people but neither of us cared. Maybe Alice didn't even notice, she didn't say anything about it. I felt comfortable holding her hand, I loved the feeling of her skin on mine. As dinnertime arrived we chose a restaurant where I could eat something.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything, miss?" the waiter asked Alice with his cute Irish accent. This was probably the main reason people like this country, the accent of the locals. I instantly fell in love with it and I could imagine other people doing so, too.

"Yes, I'm good," Alice smiled sweetly at him and I felt jealous. The boy seemed overwhelmed by hear beauty and I knew how he felt. A second later Alice turned her attention back to me, I was eating something I couldn't remember the name of, but it tasted pretty good. However, I got a little nervous under Alice's gaze. I knew she found it fascinating to watch me do 'human things' as she called them, but it was still making me nervous. Fifteen minutes later I had finished my meal and Alice ordered a dessert which she thought looked good. She visibly enjoyed picking my food and I enjoyed the fact that she liked doing so. I ate my dessert in silence and when I was done Alice paid the bill and we got out.

"You didn't have to do that, you know?"

"Do what?"

"Pay for my food," she knew how I hated her paying for everything, but once again, she seemed to enjoyed it and so I let her.

"Oh, I know. I just like buying you things, dinner included," she grabbed my hand again and we walked back to our hotel. When we got back into our room I all but collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep. Well, almost asleep. I was exhausted but knew I couldn't fall asleep unless I had some cold arms holding me.

"Alice!" I whined. Seconds later I felt her slip into bed behind me.

"You should take off your clothes," she whispered in my ear. Goosebumps made themselves known over my whole body and I nodded slightly. She'd never forgive me if I abused my clothes like that and so I got out of my bed and stripped till my underwear. I quickly got back into bed and Alice wrapped her arms around me. I leaned my head to rest on her chest and fell asleep as her scent washed over me.

Halfway during the night I woke up, the first thing I noticed was that Alice wasn't there. Just as I was about to freak out I saw a note on her pillow.

_Sweet Bella,_

_Please don't freak out, I got hungry so I went to see if there was anything edible here in Ireland. I'll be back as soon as I can. Just stay in bed and keep my spot warm for me. _

_Love,  
Alice_

The note made me smile and stayed in bed. About half an hour later Alice got back, she had a small drop of blood in the corner of her mouth and it made me laugh. This was actually the first time she'd been so reckless and hadn't made sure she was absolutely clean before she got to me.

"What?" she said, as she got back into bed too. I wiped the drop of blood away and showed it to her. It made her smile and her cold tongue quickly licked the drop off my finger. This made me smile again and she snuggled into me.

"I'm sorry I had to go, I didn't want to leave you alone," she whispered. I hugged her tightly and told her it was okay. When our eyes locked neither of us looked away, her eyes got slightly darker and I realized this wasn't the time to make her feel uncomfortable. Therefore I turned around and soon fell asleep again. 

We stayed in Dublin for two days, after that we moved on to a city called Cork. We got into a _rented_ car and Alice drove us all the way there. I soon understood her when she said "everyone should see Ireland at least once in their lives." Because it was absolutely beautiful. I kept looking outside and sometimes was distracted by Alice's giggles.

"What's so funny?" I asked, while shifting my attention to her.

"You are. You look like this is the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen," she waved her hand to show she was talking about this country.

"It is, well, it's the second most gorgeous thing," I said, I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. Alice didn't ask me about my first, for which I was grateful, because I wouldn't want to ruin everything, not now that everything was so perfect. Alice had packed some food for me this morning and around noon she stopped the car. Got out a blanket and spread it on the ground somewhere in the wilderness.

"I thought you'd be hungry and we could take a little break so you could eat," she smiled and I hugged her.

"That's sweet of you," I mumbled. She smiled and we both sat down on the blanket. I sniffed the air and Alice made a funny face at my doing so.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It smells so nice here! So, pure," she agreed and lay down while I was eating some sandwiches. When I was finished I lay down next to her. We both turned our heads to each other and I watched her face. My thoughts drifted off and I thought about everything Alice and I had been through, every moment we'd spent together. _She_ had come back after I jumped off the cliff. _She _had been there for me when Edward had cheated on me. _She_ always managed to make me feel happy and she always got me to laugh. She was just a walking miracle.

"What's the first?" her beautiful voice interrupted my thoughts.

"What?"

"You said this," she waved her hand around again, "was the second most gorgeous thing you've seen in your life, what's the first?" I blushed. Should I tell her? Or not? Yes, I should.

"You've already seen my answer haven't you?" I asked her, I had turned around now, I couldn't face her as she would get angry with me, maybe even disgusted.

"I want you to say it, Bella," she said. Half a second later she was on my other side, facing me. I closed my eyes and a tear ran down my face, her small fingers captured it.

"It's… you," I mumbled. At that moment I didn't think my face could get any more red.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"_**Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen."**_

"_It's… you," I mumbled. At that moment I didn't think my face could get any more red. _

When I opened my eyes Alice was beaming at me. What the hell?

"Bella, you're very beautiful yourself," she said, giggling. I sat up and turned away from her, I couldn't possibly deal with this, could I? Immediately I felt her hand on my shoulder, pulling me back in her direction.

"Bella, is there more you want to tell me?" Her face was dead serious now, and I knew that it was now or never. But I couldn't find the strength inside me to tell her how I really felt. I didn't want to ruin this holiday.

"Because you can tell me everything, you know that," she touched my arm again and again a few tears escaped my eyes. Alice captured them all and pulled me into her, she hugged me and comforted me. It worked, as it always did. Her sweet voice cooed me and told me it would be alright.

"You don't have to tell me, Bella. It can wait, if you're not ready for talking about what bothers you yet," she was way too understanding. I shook my head, I had to tell her. It would probably kill me if I didn't.

"I want to tell you, Alice. But I'm afraid I'll ruin the holiday," a blushed crept on my face and I stared at my hands, which were in hers.

"Nothing you will say could ruin this holiday, Bella. It's perfect, it could only get better, not worse," that was the last push I needed.

"Alice, I'm in love with you," I whispered. Maybe this was quite a blunt way to put it, but at least I was straightforward about it, and no misinterpretation could be made. I slowly looked up at her and saw she was beaming again. Now I was really confused, was she happy about this? Did she feel the same way? Could that be?

"Bella, I'm very much in love with you too," she said, as soon as the words had left her mouth I felt her cold lips crash into mine. I couldn't help but smile at this and kissed her back. The kiss was perfect, it was exactly how I had hoped it would be. It was much better than Edward's kisses, Alice wasn't afraid to kiss me. She actually seemed to enjoy it. We stayed on the blanket for a few more hours, talking, kissing, laughing.

That night we got to Cork. Alice drove like crazy because she really wanted to arrive there before sundown. She had booked the most expensive room, again. I'd probably never understand the reason for that. Ten minutes later we got into our room, I wasn't as tired now and so I didn't fall asleep right away. Alice kissed me softly after she dropped our suitcases and closed the door. I kissed her back, wrapped my arms around her and pushed her into the direction of the bed. Our kiss deepened as she licked my bottom lip, begging for entrance. Well, who was I to deny her? I lay down and she got on top of me, our lips only broke contact because I had to breathe once in a while. Our tongues continually battled for dominance, but of course, Alice won. She always did, Alice always won everything. My hands soon found the hem of her shirt and I tried to get it off. Inexperienced as I was it didn't work, of course. Alice helped me a little and ripped her, probably very expensive, shirt off and tossed it to the side. She then got mine off as well. She kissed my throat, my collarbone, my chest and last but never least, my breasts. She ripped my bra off as well and was now softly licking my nipples. I moaned at the feeling which just seemed to encourage her. My fingers played with her short, silky hair. She then moved from my one nipple to the other, with one of her hands she massaged the other breast. This truly was the most amazing feeling ever. She then kissed my lips again.

"Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" she asked, her voice was hoarse and her eyes were a dark butterscotch color.

"Yes, but… you've got to help me, please?" I squealed.

"Good, because, I don't think I could have stopped right now. And yes, honey, I'll help," those were her only words before she attacked my nipples again. She slowly kissed, licked and sucked her way down and groaned when she got to my pants. She undid my buttons and pulled my jeans down, together with my panties. Her cold fingers were touching my wetness and I moaned as she licked her fingers clean. She brought her mouth back up and enveloped my lips in a heated kiss. I felt two of her fingers slowly enter me.

"Tell me if it hurts," she whispered. My nails scratched her bare back and she seemed to enjoy this. Our kiss continued and despite the short pain I felt, I enjoyed every second of our lovemaking so far. Her fingers now slowly started going in and out of me and I moaned again. Alice smiled into my lips and I opened my eyes, she did too. Her thumb started rubbing my clitoris and the feeling it brought was like no other… I buckled my hips along with her rhythm and again Alice started kissing her way down. When she got to my vagina I felt her cold tongue on my clit. I hissed at the feeling, it was so good. I knew I was going to orgasm at any time and Alice seemed to feel it coming too. She probably had seen this moment already but I couldn't bring myself to care about that. She started sucking, licking and nipping on my clit right now and I lost total control of my body. I started shivering and screamed loudly.

"ALICE!" she continued licking until I had calmed down a little and then got back up. She lay next to me and kissed me gently. Suddenly, I was terribly tired but I didn't think it was fair to stop right now. I wanted to please Alice too, I felt the need to.

"You should sleep, honey," she whispered.

"No, Alice… You…"

"You can make up for that tomorrow, okay?" I nodded and watched her take off her pants, she got into bed with me and with her arms around me I fell asleep.

The next morning Alice got me breakfast in bed. After I finished she kissed me, and I kissed her back. I pushed her on her back and gently kissed her whole face.

"I like where this is going," she said, smiling.

"Oh really? Where is it going?" She never answered my question and she didn't have to, because no matter what she would have answered, I would have gotten my way with her anyway. We made love several times that morning, each orgasm better than the other. She told me I was a natural and it made me feel so proud of myself. Alice didn't lose control once, and I was very proud of her too. Being close to me had never been a problem for her, and even making love hadn't been. She really was special, my special little vampire.

We stayed in Ireland for 2 weeks. We had started in Dublin and had also ended there. Our last night was in the same room as our first and the morning after we took a flight back to Seattle. Carlisle and Esme had brought us to the airport 2 weeks ago, and Charlie would be there to pick us up. I was a bit nervous about that, Alice and I were together now, and I knew I needed to tell him at some point. But I never knew how he would react. He could get angry, disappointed, or he could be happy for us. This was only the 3rd year I was about to spend with my dad and I realized I didn't know him that well at all. Alice had promised me everything would be alright, but still, I was nervous. She also told me that Carlisle and Esme would be alright with it, and I hadn't expected anything else. They were okay with every choice their children made, they were probably the greatest parents any child could wish for.

When our plane landed and we got back our luggage we went to look for Charlie. Alice knew exactly where to find him and when we did he looked genuinely happy to see us.

"Did you girls have a good time?" He asked, visibly excited about me being back home to cook for him. Alice and I looked at each other and both started giggling.

"It was fantastic, Charlie," Alice said, a bright smile on her face. Charlie nodded and mumbled something I didn't catch. He got our luggage and put it in the trunk of his cruiser. Alice and I both got in the backseat, she held my hand the entire trip, Charlie didn't seem to notice and for that I was happy. After a few hours we got home, he told me to get inside and promised Alice he'd take her home. Alice and I said goodbye, I knew I'd see her soon anyway and so I could deal without a kiss for now. About half an hour later Charlie got back, the flight had made me tired and so I had a good reason to get to bed immediately. When I got to my room Alice was already there, she kissed me softly and we both lay down. I fell asleep immediately and wouldn't wake up for a pretty long time.

"We've got something to tell you," Alice's soft voice was directed at the four people who sat in front of us. Three pair of curious eyes, and one pair of glaring eyes. Alice grabbed my hand and squeezed it softly. I looked up and saw a huge grin on Emmett's face. Rosalie on the other hand was looking pretty annoyed and both Carlisle and Esme were patiently waiting for what was to come.

"Bella and I are in love," she whispered. I hardly heard it but I knew the rest of the people present would. Rosalie's glare never changed, Emmett's grin got only bigger, if possible.

"With each other?" Emmett exclaimed, that comment was rewarded by a smack on the back of head by Rosalie, who still had a glare on her face.

Esme smiled softly at us and Carlisle stood up and came over to give us a hug, quickly followed by Esme.

"Congratulations!" she said, smiling as she hugged me. I thanked her and both Alice and I sat down.

"That is _so_ hot!" Emmett exclaimed. By saying that he earned another smack on his head by Rosalie which made Alice and I laugh.

"I'm happy for you," those were the only words Rosalie said. And I was content by hearing them, Rosalie never said anything she didn't mean. She was never afraid to be considered mean, arrogant and bitchy. These words meant a lot to me. Alice gleamed as Rosalie said the words to her, she was her only sister and I figured that her opinion meant a lot to Alice. I spent the night there and Alice and I decided that we'd tell Charlie tomorrow. I still was pretty nervous about that. But Alice made me forget anything important that night, the only thing important enough to think about was her. She kissed me, pleased me and for the first time I told her 'I love you.' One blood-red tear rolled down her cheek right after I said that. I kissed it away and tasted it's iron-like taste. She was crying blood.

The next day we indeed told Charlie, his reaction was really comforting.

"As long as the both of you are happy I'm happy. I don't care who you fall in love with, Bells. As long as they make you happy," his words had made me cry and afterwards Alice and I got upstairs. We kissed for a while and when we were both taking a break from everything I felt complete. Almost.

"Alice, I want to be a vampire," I said. She looked at me and kissed me gently.

"And so you will be. Soon," she smiled and captured my lips with hers. My life was perfect, I was sure. Edward's perfect lies had given me this perfect person. I sincerely hoped that Edward and Tanya would be happy. The hole in my chest was mended, for good. And I was absolutely, 100% sure that Alice would never tear it open again. Like I said, my life was perfect.

**The end. **

_A/N: I'd like to thank everyone once more for all the support! You guys are so amazing, I have no words for it. This is the end for now, I'm not sure if I'll ever make more chapters for this story, but for now my imagination is pretty much gone and I feel it would be better to leave it at this. Thanks again and I love you guys, you're the best readers anyone could ever ever ever wish for! _


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